"I Wasn't Defective—Just Undiagnosed": A Personal Response to CNN’s Article on Autism in Women and Girls

By Hannah

When I read CNN’s recent article, “Understanding Autism in Women and Girls”, I felt a wave of recognition. Featuring insights from author and neuroscientist Gina Rippon, the article sheds light on the underdiagnosis and misunderstanding of autism in girls and women—something I’ve experienced firsthand.

For those of us who weren’t seen early, the journey toward self-understanding can be long, painful, and—ultimately—transformative.

Misdiagnosis and Masking

I was a straight-A student, the kind teachers praise. But behind the academic success was a child who struggled with social cues, sleep, sensory overwhelm, rigid routines, food aversions, and intense interests. Despite all this, autism or ADHD were never on the table.

Instead, I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, social anxiety, and even borderline personality disorder—labels that never quite fit, but explained my “emotional intensity.” My rejection sensitivity was dismissed as drama. My masking was mistaken for composure.

Even today, my parents struggle with my autism diagnosis because I don't match the outdated stereotypes they've internalized.

Getting Closer to the Truth

I was eventually diagnosed with ADHD as a teenager—a step in the right direction. But the misdiagnoses and unnecessary medications persisted into adulthood.

I succeeded in college and worked in the legal field, a special interest and deep hyperfocus of mine. I could quote criminal codes and legal policies from memory. But the social demands at work were draining. I never felt like I belonged. Conversations stopped when I walked into a room. Still, I buried my discomfort under competence.

And I kept wondering: Why is life so much harder for me than for everyone else?

Motherhood, Burnout, and the Breaking Point

After having my second child, everything I had been holding together fell apart. The masking, the pressure, the lack of support—it became too much. I hit a point of deep depression. I was suicidal. I felt like a complete failure as a mom and a person.

Why couldn’t I just do what others seemed to do so easily?

I went back to therapy—hesitantly. Two years in, my therapist finally gave me the diagnoses that made everything click: autism and OCD, the latter triggered by a series of family emergencies. We adjusted my treatment plan. I returned to ADHD meds. And for the first time, I started therapy that honored my neurodivergence.

Relief, Grief, and the Power of Knowing

Finding out I was autistic wasn’t just a diagnosis—it was a relief. I wasn’t broken. I was different. And there was a name for that difference. I cried, I grieved for my younger self, and I got angry. How many opportunities for support were missed? How much pain could’ve been avoided if someone had noticed?

But I also began to heal. I learned that the same traits that caused me to struggle also helped me hold my children through crises. My brain wasn’t failing me—it was doing its best under impossible circumstances.

Why Early Diagnosis Matters

CNN’s article, and Gina Rippon’s work, underscore what so many of us know to be true: autism in girls and women is still too often missed, ignored, or misunderstood. But change is possible.

My diagnosis didn’t just change my life—it improved the lives of my children and husband, too. With understanding comes compassion, clarity, and a new way of showing up in the world.

Now, I advocate. I speak out. I show up for the next generation of autistic girls so that maybe they won’t have to wait so long to be seen.

“Here come the girls,” indeed.

Have you had a similar experience?

Let’s keep the conversation going. Share your story, leave a comment, or pass this post along to someone who needs to read it. Early diagnosis and understanding save lives—and every voice matters.